This book ruined my Saturday.
I had planned all this stuff to do but woke up really early and decided to read a few chapters first.
I couldn’t put it down. I tried. Twice.
I just HAD to find out how it ended. It was driving me crazy!
This story is not my usual read. It’s a very emotional story about a couple who are deeply in love and happily married, but the wife, Catherine, has several miscarriages and sort of loses her sanity. She’s always struggled with low self-esteem and believes she’s not woman enough to give her husband a child and therefore, not worthy of love or happiness. She slips into a deep depression and, though her husband, Ben knows she’s spiraling downward, he doesn’t really know what to do. They grow apart and their marriage begins to crumble.
The story alternates between the past, when Catherine and Ben first got together, and the present where their relationship is falling apart. You get a real feeling for their true personalities and of them as a couple, and it’s terribly sad to see how things have changed them.
Ben is a wonderful character. I absolutely loved him and, even though Catherine ends up cheating on him, I couldn’t help feeling sad for her. She lost four babies, blames herself, and is in a very dark place. She feels like she has no one to turn to so, when she thinks she’s found someone that understands her, she grabs on tight. She begins to justify her actions by telling herself that she deserves to be selfish for once but really, she knows she’s being a horrible person. She’s just too emotionally broken to stop herself.
I hated the man that Catherine cheats with. His name is Arsen, and he’s arrogant, self-centered, and childish. At one point in the story, he even says about Catherine that he saw something he wanted, so he took it. Though he knew she was very happily married, he used her guilt and vulnerability to pressure her into the affair. Once he had her, he ran hot and cold all the time, hurting her emotionally but then begging her to forgive him.
The ending was very satisfying, exactly what I’d hoped for, but the last chapter broke my heart. I won’t go into detail but I will say that it changed my feelings about one of the characters, though I was still very happy with the resolution.
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